Watched Jay and thought, man, I can do this :)
Guess the notion that he got pushed out because he had lost touch with the younger crowd has some truth to it. Mostly old folks.
Be honest Jay; if you're in town for a car show, say you're in town for a car show :)
Else, I was impressed - no cue cards, rattled off about 185 jokes - switched from jokes to stories around 140..
The last 3 were "jokes to go" and you have to be a bit liberal in the definition of joke for these.. sorry Jay ..
Can't really tell jokes anymore, you just talk about stuff...
Guy's in a horrible car wreck, every bone broken. He's in a cast up to his neck, hanging from the ceiling in his hospital room. Can't even lie in bed - he in such pain. For a year he's been hanging there, every part of his body covered in bandage. Only part that's not covered, is a little slip right here on his forehead. The doctor comes in and says, tsk, don't like the look of that eye.
Really Jay?
Here's the sort that my mother thought was funny :
A couple's been married 40 years, the wife dies. At the funeral, the pall-bearers are carrying the coffin into the church, they bang the coffin on the corner. He hears "hurrhh.." He thinks, "Oh, my God, she's alive." The story makes the news, the woman recovers, lives another 20 years. Same church, same pall bearers, the husband says, "Watch the corner!"
Okay, you tried..
Any hunters in the audience? I was in Michigan, in the upper peninsula and they wanted a hunting joke :
Two hunters are walking through the woods. It's about 6, twilight, not quite dark. One of them says, "look out." "What?" Right there, in front of them, a 6 foot hole perfectly cylindrical , going straight down. The guys says "Thanks, you saved my life. I wonder how deep this hole could be." They find an anvil near the hole and decide to toss it in. It falls and doesn't even make a sound - don't even hear it hit. They decide to get out of there, and as, they're leaving, they see a goat coming running at 20 mph and it dives right into the hole. Then they hear a man calling out "Becky! Becky!" It's a farmer. He says, "Have you guys seen my goat?" They say, yes, he came running through here and jumped into that hole. The guy says, "That's impossible. I had him chained to an anvil."
A woman reads about these new kinds of breast implants. So she goes to the doctor. He says we put an air-pump under your skin. When you want to get bigger, you press the button. So she has the operation and recovers and couple of days later she's sitting in a bar and sees and attractive guy looking at her. Thinks, "let's see if this works" and ... the guy comes over and tells her, "excuse me miss, I think we have the same doctor."
Great Jay, just great. Stick to cars from now on :)
